Hello, loyal subjects. We’re Charles and Diana, the royal rulers of Richland and Southern Pine. Charles here is a nine-year-old Goldendoodle with movie-star curls and the emotional depth of a teddy bear. Diana is a two-year-old French Bulldog with a pie-bald coat fit for a queen and a comeback story worthy of the crown jewels. Together, we spend our days patrolling the windows, supervising morning walkers, and making sure no neighbor passes by unnoticed.

Our humans say we’re “completely obsessed” with each other, which is true. We play together all day, sleep side-by-side, and honestly have very little interest in mingling with other dogs when we already have each other. Charles is the social one, though. He’s never met a stranger and gives what humans apparently call “great hugs.” Before moving to River Ranch, he even taught himself how to open doors so he could come and go whenever he pleased. Losing that freedom has been… humbling.

Now Diana’s story is a little more dramatic because every royal family needs one resilient heroine. For the first year of her life, she couldn’t use her back legs. Thankfully, Dr. Patrick Cutbirth at Lafayette Veterinary Care Center discovered a cyst on her spinal cord and sent her to a neurosurgeon in Baton Rouge. The surgery was a complete success, and now she zooms around the house like she’s making up for lost time.

Naturally, we live a life of luxury. We visit Bark Avenue every other week for grooming because appearances matter when you’re public figures. Our meals are prepared twice daily and carefully cut up for us because we have standards. In the evenings, we enjoy golf cart rides through the neighborhood, and on weekends we prefer convertible rides for pup cups. Boarding? Absolutely not. If our humans leave town, we require a private in-home sitter. We may be spoiled, but we consider it proper treatment for royalty.

Truthfully, though, the best part of our kingdom is our family. They adore us just as much as we adore each other. We’ve heard them admit they miss us terribly when they travel and have even cut trips short just to come home to us. Honestly, we understand. Once you’ve lived with royalty, it’s hard to stay away.