Hi neighbors,

My name is Kaia Leon… but around here, most people call me Derp. And honestly, it fits. My eyes kind of do their own thing; one goes left, one goes right, which means I can keep an eye on everything happening in the neighborhood at all times. You’re welcome.

I’m a six-year-old French Bulldog living my best life on Hickory Lane with my family, including my humans Quinn and Nolan, who I am definitely most grateful for. They give me endless cuddles and, more importantly, lots of snacks when they don’t feel like finishing their meals. It’s a pretty great system.

I may be small, but I have a big personality. I’m what you might call a “wide walker,” which means I kind of waddle instead of walk. Some people also call me a “low rider” because, well… my belly gets pretty close to the ground. No shame.

I love everyone. Kids, adults, other dogs… if I see you, I’m coming over to give you a million kisses. You’ve been warned. I don’t bark much either, which makes me a pretty terrible guard dog. If someone tried to break into my house, I’d probably just lick them and ask for attention.

When I’m not out making friends, you can usually find me doing one of my favorite activities… sunbathing. My house was basically designed around making sure I have the best sunny spots. I rotate between the windows, the floor, and my very luxurious bed. I also love lying by the fireplace when it’s cold. Honestly, I live a better life than most people.

I like to keep things interesting around the neighborhood. My best buddy is Brix, the husky next door, and I also love playing with Millie, a golden retriever across the street. I may or may not be the one who gets everyone a little riled up when we’re outside together. Just keeping things lively.

Now, I don’t have many fears. A snake once tried to strike at me, and I just stood there like… what? But I will admit, I’m not a fan of the geese that hang around the pond. Those guys are aggressive. I prefer to keep my distance.

I’m not exactly known for my obedience. Sitting is optional. Listening is… negotiable. Sometimes my family calls my name five times before I respond, and even then, I’m still deciding if it’s worth it.

But what I lack in listening skills, I make up for in love.

My family says I’m the sweetest dog, just a little derpy, a little stubborn, and a whole lot of personality. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If you see me around the neighborhood, feel free to say hi… just be prepared for kisses.

Love,
Kaia (aka Derp)