It has been said that you don’t own your pet, your pet owns you and I over time I began to understand why that adage bears so much truth. One might say we weren’t really “Pet People”: we like dogs but not at 2 a.m. or when the weather is less than glorious. Cats know I am allergic to them and seem to compete to see which one can cause my eyes to swell more. Therefore, for many years we avoided testing the truism and trusted that other pets enjoyed owning their humans.

But, in a valiant effort to be named The Best Mom and Dad EVER, we allowed our daughter to enter into the world of pet ownership.  Our first pet was a guinea pig. Wilbur was, I admit, a rather adorable Abyssinian guinea pig whose cowlicks and fur whirls made him appear as if he were moving simultaneously forward and backward. Guinea pigs manage their own bathroom needs so there is never a need to go outdoors in the pouring rain or on a frigid winter night to accommodate them. Wilbur’s high-pitched squeals filled our kitchen whenever I began peeling carrots or preparing other vegetables. His cedar shaving filled cage was located in the kitchen from where he could supervise us during vegetable preparation. Because Wilbur’s chores included consumption of this food waste, the kitchen area was highly convenient for him. He was not at all keen on his other chores which included cuddling and petting; to the contrary he interpreted these requirements as the perfect means to Escape. Sadly, however, Wilbur soon left us for the Cedar Shavings in the sky. We soon proceeded up the animal kingdom ladder (slightly) to rabbit ownership.

Our first contestants were two cute bunnies whom we named Freckles (yes, white with brown spots; no imagination needed for that title!) and Bentley Woobers (don’t ask). Rabbits also are rather deluxe and don’t require late-night walking. Although both our new friends were lop-eared, Bentley’s ears were always at right angles as if he were eternally signaling for a left turn. The bunnies lived in an architect designed (i.e., built by my husband, an architect) hutch in our side yard but had many exercise sessions on our breezeway. When Freckles began giving Bentley “piggy back rides”, it was time for a visit to the V-E-T. Our bunny friends joined us on our interstate move where they enjoyed an outdoor pen as well as the elegant hutch. Freckles allowed cuddling and snuggling; Bentley always had something better to do. A few years later they joined guinea pig Wilbur in the Celestial Carrot Patch.

Not to be bereft of bunnies, we invited another rabbit to join us. Waffles (again, don’t ask) was grey and had kitchen privileges. He was much loved, petted, cuddled, and treated with TLC but soon after joined his predecessors in the Cosmos. This did not prevent us from adopting Phoebe Hunnybunny. Now here was a rabbit with a personality and some smarts (relatively speaking, of course). Phoebe declined the offer of the architecturally designed hutch and settled in on our large screened porch. She came when she was called greater than 50% of the time and supervised lawn mowing and gardening from her perch at the top of a chaise lounge. From time to time she would play whiffle ball with us, either pushing it with her nose or picking it up and hurling it (5 points). After a few games she gave up the sport, mostly because it wasn’t considered an Olympic event so why bother when you can take a nap?

Phoebe took over Wilbur’s food management business and was quite helpful with consuming carrot peels, broccoli stems, and lettuce cores. She could detect the scent of a freshly peeled banana at a molecular level, instantly appearing at your feet for her share. In fact, one morning, I turned my back on my bowl of banana topped cereal for a nanosecond to find a certain rabbit (no names mentioned, please) perched on MY chair consuming MY breakfast. She had a definite sweet tooth and would expertly eat around her food pellets to find a Cheerio or piece of apple we had hidden at the bottom of her dish.

She was a definite cuddle bug and while seated on my lap would watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune with us every night. I know she knew most of the answers and she never needed to buy a vowel. Phoebe enjoyed a good nap after every snack, and enjoyed a snack after each nap; she was quite busy. Going for a walk in the neighborhood was not ever on her List, in fact she was not tolerant of leashes or harnesses. Once or twice we made the egregious mistake of trying to place a pretty bow gently around her neck. I did say “trying”! She also did not enjoy dressing in doll clothes. Ok, back to bananas and naps.

I guess you might conclude that we did, after all, become pet people and did enjoy being owned by several furry friends. I recommend rabbits but be sure to keep a good supply of bananas on hand!