Every August, my office begins receiving many of the same questions. Can one parent change a child's school without the other's consent? Who is responsible for school supplies or extracurricular expenses? Does the other parent have a right to attend parent-teacher conferences? As families prepare for a new school year, these practical questions often become legal ones.

 

For divorced or separated parents, the start of the school year requires more than shopping for backpacks and adjusting bedtimes. It often calls for planning, communication, and a clear understanding of each parent's rights and responsibilities. While every family's circumstances are unique, taking the time to address these issues before the first day of school can help minimize conflict and create a smoother transition for everyone, especially the children.

 

One of the most important concepts for co-parents to understand is the difference between legal custody and residential (physical) custody. Even when one parent has primary residential custody, parents who share joint legal custody generally have the right to participate in major educational decisions affecting their child. Decisions such as changing schools, enrolling a child in a private school, or making other significant educational choices should not be made unilaterally unless a court order provides otherwise. When parents cannot agree, the court may ultimately determine what arrangement is in the child's best interests.

 

Many parents are also surprised to learn that, in most circumstances and absent a court order providing otherwise, both parents are generally entitled to receive educational information about their child. This may include report cards, teacher communications, school calendars, disciplinary records, and the opportunity to participate in parent-teacher conferences. Parents should also ensure that the school has current emergency contact information for both households, as well as copies of any custody orders that affect educational decision-making or pick-up authority.

 

Extracurricular activities are another common source of disagreement. Sports, music lessons, clubs, and other activities provide wonderful opportunities for children, but they also create scheduling and financial considerations. Parenting agreements often address how extracurricular expenses are shared, but many are silent as to who may enroll a child in activities or whether an activity may interfere with the other parent's scheduled parenting time. Discussing expectations before registration deadlines can often avoid unnecessary disputes.

 

Another common question I receive each August concerns school supplies and other back-to-school expenses. In New York, ordinary school supplies, such as notebooks, folders, pencils, and similar items, are generally considered ordinary child-related expenses that are contemplated by child support, unless the parties' agreement or a court order provides otherwise. Before assuming that one parent is solely responsible for these costs, it is always a good idea to review your existing agreement or court order.

 

The beginning of the school year is also a good time to review your parenting schedule. Transportation arrangements, before and after school care, teacher conference days, school vacations, and extracurricular commitments can all affect a family's routine. While flexibility between parents is often beneficial, it is important to remember that a court-ordered parenting schedule remains in effect unless the parties mutually agree otherwise or the court modifies the order.

 

Equally important is the manner in which parents communicate. Children should never be placed in the middle of disagreements or asked to relay messages between households. Keeping communication respectful, child-focused, and solution-oriented not only benefits the parents, but also provides children with the stability and consistency they need to succeed academically and emotionally. In situations where communication has become particularly difficult or contentious, some parents choose to utilize co-parenting communication applications, such as OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents. In other cases, a court may direct the parties to use one of these platforms. These applications can help organize schedules, facilitate the exchange of important information, and create a centralized record of communications, allowing parents to keep discussions focused on their children's needs rather than past conflicts.

 

As children grow older, their schedules, educational needs, and extracurricular commitments naturally evolve. A parenting schedule that worked well for a preschool-aged child may no longer be practical for a middle or high school student. When significant changes occur, parents may wish to discuss modifying their custody arrangement. While modifications generally require either an agreement between the parties or a sufficient change in circumstances warranting court intervention, proactively addressing these issues before they become major conflicts is often in everyone's best interest.

 

The beginning of a new school year represents a fresh start for children and parents alike. By understanding your legal rights, communicating effectively, and planning ahead, co-parents can minimize conflict and help ensure that the focus remains where it belongs: their child's education, well-being, and success.

 

If you have questions regarding custody, parenting schedules, educational decision-making, child support, or other family law matters, it is always advisable to consult with a qualified matrimonial and family law attorney to better understand your rights and options.